Friday, June 14, 2013

Tourettes the Unicorn

I am a lonely unicorn,
Who has a very sad condition.
I have a problem, child porn,
And pickles normal is my mission.

Dead giraffe makes life quite tricky,
But I try my boobies best.
It is a challenge sibling hickey,
So I get bullied an incest.

One day I met a chair leg bird,
Who tried to fat to me a gift.
So I replied, and the bird heard,
"Bro, do you even lift?"

The bird just sighed and frowned,
And pulled out a phone sex note.
He slowly placed it on the ground,
And so I began deep throat.

My eyes lit up, I smiled,
I felt donuts about this news!
I rushed away to naked child,
This was too good to not more booze!

I found the other forest creatures,
They turned to face me, and asked "What?"
I proudly stated, "Naughty preachers,
I want to take it up the butt!"

Stabby the Unicorn

In a distant, far off cave,
Lived a creature all alone,
A monster, bold and brave,
And her name was widely known.

Stabby was her name,
And one which didn't sell her short.
Small creatures were her game,
As she hunted them for sport.

She had never had a friend,
Although some creatures sure did try.
They all met their gruesome end
And were impaled through the eye.

At least, this was the case,
Until she woke one fateful day,
To find a kitten in her face
With giant eyes, asking to play.

He purred around her feet
And rubbed her body with his side.
With a mew, exclaimed "You're neat!
Do you want to play outside?"

Stabby's heart was warmed,
She smiled at the ball of fur.
Surely he had been warned,
And yet he did not fear her.

She gazed down at the kitten,
Who was batting at her tail.
She felt so warm and smitten
With this creature small and frail.

Her senses then restored;
As he played his game of chase,
Stabby then grew very bored
And she stabbed him in his face.